Why You So Angry Bro?

The intention of writing a blog has always been to bring people into a world that might not be all that familiar, but is yet interesting and entertaining. The stories of hunting, the personalities I've guided, the struggles, and the successes are all things I've tried to share. Through nineteen seasons of guiding on the Missouri River, I have met people from around the world occupying a variety of professions and inspiring engaging conversations, helping me grow in my own personal journey. My education in Sociology has developed a propensity for being curious, listening to diverse perspectives, and synthesizing those perspectives into a collective reality.  I'm at a point in my life, however, that sharing those surface-level stories just isn't enough. I want to do more. I want to engage folks in conversations that make our world better. 

We live in a culture now that has become incredibly volatile. In this first new approach to blogging, I want to explore this. Before I do, however, I'll share a story about Buzz. Buzz was one of my absolute favorite clients. He was an attorney from Phoenix and a senior partner of one of the largest law firms in Arizona. He was also a horrible angler, but after ten years of guiding him, he was starting to figure things out. 

One day, early on, I told Buzz to "hit it" when his indicator got pulled under the water. He flinched and did something with his rod that resembled an action way more defensive than actually trying to hook a fish. 

"Buzz!" I said. "What the hell is it about 'hit it' that you don't understand?"

He laughed. 

Ron, his fishing partner, jumped in while also laughing, asking, "Do you know what Buzz does to his attorneys who talk to him that way?"

"What?"

"He fires them." 

"It's a good thing I'm not an attorney," I responded. "Next time I say hit it, hit it hard." 

Ron, Buzz, and I fished together for over ten years after that interaction. Buzz was one of the smartest people I had ever met. He was educated, well-traveled, funny as hell, and compassionate. He often told the same stories year after year--one of those describing golf buddies from the club he belonged to, who would question him about how he could possibly be a Democrat with all the money he had. His response: "Because I have a conscience." 

I understand that might be offensive to some people. It doesn't sound fair, as a Republican, to be lumped into a group of rich, white, egocentric businessmen who only care about making money, does it? That's reasonable, but it is a stigma that has been perpetuated, and I'd even say, self-inflicted, by many CEOs and wealthy capitalists. Are all CEOs egocentric narcissists? Nope. But enough are to warrant the stigma. Is it fair? Probably not, and that's what pisses people off and causes tension.  

On the other side, because I tend to stand up for the underserved, the poor, the disenfranchised, and those being wrongly persecuted, I get lumped in with the radical leftists. Without even knowing me, I've been called a snowflake, bleeding heart liberal, socialist, (BTW, most people who call me a socialist don't even know what that means,) and a lot of other disparaging adjectives that all bring with them assumed attributes that probably aren't true. Some are true, however, and I'm actually proud to embrace the stereotype. When people call me "woke", for example, I don't see that as being a bad thing. I mean, really? I'm the asshole because I care about how people are being treated and I advocate for equal rights for all humans, regardless of ethnicity, gender, sexuality, or whatever else people tend to get discriminated against. If that's how you want to judge me, screw it. Call me whatever you want. 

I want to lean into this for a bit and ask the question, "Why are you so angry, bro?"

I think the easy response tends to be that it's fear that causes the anxiety, which morphs into tension and anger. I don't totally agree, but I don't want to simplify or discount the complexity of the tension. I think it has more to do with people's idea of what is fair and unfair that is the real culprit. It's a crazy thing that people have an inherent belief that everything should be fair; not just what is fair, that comes down to an ethical or philosophical discussion of fairness, but moreover, how they define what is fair or unfair based on cultural and personal biases. And when people feel like they are being treated unfairly, or even worse, being judged unfairly, it pisses them off.

As I lean into my own anger that seems to be triggered more and more by the way our political climate is going, I identify that it's the lies that are being told that really piss me off, and I find myself asking, "Why? Why do political leaders lying to us create this resentment?" Well, I would say that again, it comes down to what I feel leads to injustice. People are being manipulated to believe things that then make them support these lying politicians, giving them the power to treat others unfairly. When I see people detained or deported because of the color of their skin, for example, that pisses me off. Not all Mexicans are criminals. In fact, there are fewer incidences of crime among migrant workers than among naturally born citizens in America. That is a fact, but our administration will tell you otherwise, and that's not fair. It's not fair to the migrant workers, the businesses that rely on their labor, and it's not fair to you or me. When those statistics are revealed, what is the response from our leaders? "Well, those statistics are made up." Or, "you can manipulate the stats to say anything..." When those lies are told, it puts into question all statistics, all science, and any truth, for that matter, and now nobody trusts anything. That's the real crime here, and that's where the injustices manifest, and that is truly what angers me. 

A woman was shot last week by an ICE officer in Minneapolis. That alone should anger people. She was doing what we all have the right to do. She was protesting something she thought was an injustice, and because she offended an officer in the process, she was shot and killed. What happened next is truly insulting and should anger us all. The ICE officer was not protecting his physical well-being. He was protecting his ego, and without any evidence, Kristi Nome, who was also in protection mode, lied to the world about what had happened. It started with her telling us these ICE agents were stuck in the snow and were just trying to push their vehicles out when they were accosted and boxed in by violent domestic terrorists. That is categorically false, and everything after that should come into question. 

From there, the lies grew, and when this administration and the folks that support them were backed into a corner, more and more lies were told to disparage the woman murdered in an attempt to manipulate the facts and garner support. Posts were being disseminated across social media, describing Renee Good as some kind of transient woman whose first two marriages with men failed, so now she's married to a woman living in Minnesota, where radical leftists are indoctrinating innocent people for their extreme causes. All of that, by the way, is complete bullshit. Let ask you this: How many of you have been divorced? How many have had failed marriages? Does that make you a bad person who deserves to be murdered? Is it because she's in a same-sex marriage that offends you? Her second husband, by the way? He died two years ago. These things anger me because it's not fair, and the only purpose is to justify and cover up an indefensible moral and criminal injustice, and more importantly, to preserve the power and ego of a few despicable people who are in control of our government. These disparaging tactics are meant to villainize and dehumanize a person so they don't get the same treatment you believe you would deserve, and many of you took the bait. Sad.

Again, I want to ask, why are YOU so angry, bro?

So, what is it about my opinion that pisses you off? What is it about me being woke that angers you? By defending people who don't look like you or share your beliefs, does that make you think I don't also advocate for your rights? Does my being honest about what I saw in videos of an innocent woman getting murdered on the street, or a mob attacking police officers at the Capitol, mean that I'm trying to take something from you? Is that why you are so pissed off?

Maybe we need to talk about the human condition for a minute. I read a book called Mary Magdalene Revealed, by Meggan Watterson. By no means do I want to turn this into a religious discussion. I don't claim to know who or what God is or whether Jesus is the son of God or a prophet or just some charismatic dude roaming the desert trying to teach people how they should treat one another. One day, I figure, we will all find out, and I hope I'm on the right side of things. What I will say, however, is that I think we could learn a lot from folks who teach about love, and I believe that was the main point of the message. 

Watterson explores the writings of Mary Magdalene and what she was learning from the teachings of Jesus. She talks extensively about what makes us human. We have a soul, and equally as important, we have the ego. The resolution of the tension between the two creates what we call our spirit. What motivates our ego are things like desire, emotions, pride, and secular achievements and goals. None of those things is inherently bad. It is what makes us human. It is also the catalyst to innovation and intimacy, and a lot of other human attributes. Where the tension comes is when the ego contradicts the soul, which is virtuous, and is where we develop a sense of integrity, truth, empathy, and compassion for others. 

The ego, left unchecked, can become a little prick. It leads to an egocentric view of the world where we believe everything revolves around us. We lose sight of the others in our lives and act without compassion or the simple Golden Rule of treating others the way you would want to be treated yourself. It's often myopic with little to no regard for the grey, and in the extremes, it makes us manipulate every argument in a way that protects the perspective of this little bastard. And if that perspective is challenged, we will do anything to save the ego's existence. That's the danger, and I truly believe that's where we are today with our culture. What people are so afraid of losing is how they are viewed by others, which is really just their ego talking. They can't be critical of the person they voted for or think critically of the job they are doing because that would reflect poorly on them. 

(There's room here for other questions that we might explore. Trump got elected for many reasons. Some of those reasons I find troubling, but he did get elected. We can't discount that.)

The more enlightened we are, the more we understand the importance of letting go of what motivates the ego and use virtue to guide our actions. Instead of jumping to conclusions or acting impulsively based on emotions, we take a step back and ask questions like, "How would I feel if I were put in that position?" We allow compassion and empathy to guide a path to our responses. What is clear, however, is that in today's political climate, taking a step back and thinking rationally feels like a pipedream. 

We can argue the history of human enlightenment and where the breakdowns have come, but the truth is, we've always had ebbs and flows of this enlightenment. It's never a straight line, always progressing. Sometimes it reverses and circles around. However, sometimes, collectively, we are better at reconciling the desires of our egos with listening more to the virtues of our souls. Collectively, we develop a cultural spirit that is compassionate, empathetic, and relationship-building. It results in a culture of community, inclusiveness, and love, and I feel it is where we are presently failing. 

What I don't want to suggest is that the only way to that enlightenment is through a particular belief in a God. It is through the good in our hearts, which is the soul. It is Godly in a sense, but it doesn't come from an exclusively religious doctrine. What Watterson suggests, through the scriptures of Magdalene, is that God is the good that manifests in the soul, and we all have that in us. (I would actually argue that some people don't have that, but that discussion is meant for another day.) I know, if you've gotten this far, you're probably thinking I've been brain-washed, and I'm trying to create some cult or something. I'm not, and I know it's uncomfortable for some of you, but hear me out.

One striking thing that I have been witnessing in this last example with Renee Nicole Good is that people are actually suggesting she deserved what she got because she was interfering with an officer doing his job. First of all, Good has just as much right to be there protesting as you have to protest your causes, whether that's anti-abortion, anti-wokism, or any other thing you want to protest, as long as you're not infringing on my rights or the rights of others. However, let's say she was obstructing justice. It is fucking mind-blowing to me that people can suggest that the penalty for that would be death, AND that it's okay for an officer to administer that punishment at his own discretion without a judge or jury or any consideration for equal punishment under the law. And what's infuriating is the lies that come out, suggesting she was trying to ram him, to justify the killing. AND, because people are so tribal and their ego is so fragile that they might have to admit the person they've put all their chips in with is wrong, they fight to the end, deploying any tactic necessary that goes so far away from virtue, just to protect that little bastard, the ego. They make false equivalencies, throw out red herrings, distort the truth, and ultimately, make strongman arguments, literally trying to intimidate anyone who opposes them through violent language and insults just to make their adversaries cower and give up the fight. None of this solves anything. 

Still photos with arrows pointing towards the officer, that is literally a snapshot of what actually happened, are used as evidence, where if they had taken the snapshot of the car turned all the way to the right two seconds later show a very different reality. A video comes out, only showing a couple of seconds of the officer's phone getting jostled, not showing the entirety of the video that would actually put things into context, and is used as proof. All of these things are lies to manipulate the truth and protect those in power. That angers me. 

Buzz once told me that my clients should never know my political allegiances. He was speaking to me as a businessman. He truly wanted the best for me, and I appreciated that about him. He felt that if people knew I was left-leaning, they wouldn't want to fish with me. 

Listen, I don't offer up my politics in the boat. That's not what I'm there for any more than if you were lying on the operating table and the heart surgeon leaned over and said, "By the way, I'm a Republican." None of that matters, right? All you care about is surviving the surgery, and all my clients really care about is whether or not I can teach them some things, have fun, and get them into some fish. Sometimes, however--often actually--folks do ask me about my opinions because at some point, we've established a relationship, and they trust me with their opinions and respect mine. It often leads to some really good conversations, and I learn from their perspectives. Sometimes, my biases are unfortunately affirmed. That happens. 

So, here's the deal. I'm done writing fluff. I don't want to waste another moment of my time writing shit that doesn't matter just to entertain people or to promote my business. I will be taking a stand. Some think that will be professional suicide. Maybe. The reality is, however, if you've gotten this far, you're probably a little curious, and honestly, I truly feel that by keeping my mouth shut, I'm complicit in the injustice that is running rampant in our culture. 

I do hope you follow along, and more importantly, I hope you participate. Bring your friends too. We'll have a party!

Find the virtue, find the peace.